


Conner Goes For a Ride

by Dathan



Category: Lobo (Comics), Superboy (Comics), Young Justice (Comics)
Genre: Gen, Kidnapping, Kon needs new swimshorts, Road Trips
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-13
Updated: 2020-08-13
Packaged: 2021-03-06 07:55:28
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,194
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25870048
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Dathan/pseuds/Dathan
Summary: From the DCkinkmeme: Basically, I want Lobo to either pick up his own sidekick out of somewhere in the galaxy OR I want him to go through the Justice League's sidekicks trying to figure out why they like having them so much.(Bonus points if he goes through a lot of them before finding one that sticks)Just something quick because I had some writer's block. Don't worry the other fic will be done before the end of the week.
Relationships: Lobo & Kon-El | Conner Kent
Kudos: 4





	Conner Goes For a Ride

"Ya sure you're not gonna piss?" Lobo all but growled, this bastich was turning out just as bad as the last. "It's a long time until the next rest asteroid, and if I catch ya pissing in there, I'm dumping you're sorry ass into the closest quasar."

The little shit has been quiet since they left Earth. Curling in on himself, his arms covering up his bare chest. He thought this kid was some sort of stud the way he was flirting with every skirt on the beach. Now, after being plucked off the sand, the kid had a real bitter look on his face. Even after the Main Man showed him the brand new sidecar, he got for the Spacehog. Well, new to him, there've ten other kids sitting in there for the past month. None of them had stayed long. Lobo had to dump them back on Earth when they finally got on his nerves.

He at least expected his old Young Justice crew not to spend as much time trying to rip his eyes out. The kids were fit for the job; already sidekicks just needed a new boss. Well, now that memory served, most of them were sidekicks. Scratch that, only some of them were sidekicks, but dammit, they would learn!

The first blonde he brought along had "retired", the second blonde lost her powers, and the third one had Wonder Woman leash them before they left the atmosphere and punched him herself. He's not gonna lie, he wished that the next boy would be quieter after dealing with the hair-brained embodiment of electricity that was Impulse, the name was scared into his brain, but this was ridiculous.

Well, if Superboy wants to risk being thrown into a quasar, be his guest. They took off into the dark expanse of space, without a peep.

A few hours in, Lobo was bored, given that half the reason he needed to bring some kid along was to pass the time. He looks at the jerky he's been munchy on, and with a partial thought, throws it at the kid's head.

"Hey!"

"So he speaks!"

"Why the hell did you throw this shit at me?"

"Cuz you," Lobo points a finger right between the kid's eyes. "are acting all surly like a mute, even after I have been lookin' after you this entire trip."

"What? You abducted me!"

"Yeah? Well, why didn't your mentor scoop you up and save ya then? Hmm! Seems to me that you need a new sorta mentor to keep ya safe, and I'm just the sorta guy to do that."

"What the hell? Mentor? Do you mean... I'm nobody's sidekick! I've never been anybody's sidekick!"

"Mmhmm, now why are you dressed all skimpy like that if you're not a sidekick? I always saw you with that big "S" on ya. You're telling me that you're not out there looking for Big Blue's attention?"

"Okay, _first_ ," Superboy counted on his fingers. "I was on a beach, recovering, where it is appropriate to wear a speedo, for normal reasons. Plus, extra sunlight exposure. _Second_ , Superman has never been my mentor, and he's in Metropolis with his son..."

It got quiet again. Not in the angry sorta way when people first see Lobo, but in a sad way, like after he leaves them broken on the ground. It's quiet a little longer before he finds something to say.

"Well, I'm glad I brought you along," Lobo waxed. "It seems to me that we both need some kind of company now, more than ever. It's lonely in these sorts of stars without someone to have your back. Now, I can regenerate at the split of a hair, literally, but I can't say that living like that isn't lonely. Maybe that's why I opted for the old crew—good times with the buds and all that."

There, the little superman just stared at him for a straight minute.

"Is that why you picked me?" he asked, the little tilt in voice telling that maybe, just maybe, he'd open up.

"Yep, you and some of the other gang. The lot of them didn't seem to appreciate it. Even tried some guys from outside the team. Took this red hat guy, and he was up for the job, climbed right aboard. Had to let him go, though, kept on killing all the bounties. Kept on saying how Criminals needed to be killed, or they'd just come back," Lobo recalled, who knew someone could get so passionate about some dude with parking tickets.

"Yeah, he's a psycho," Kon chuckled.

They talked for hours about the others. Aqualad only getting as far as Europa before nearly getting dehydrated. Harley Quinn braining him by Ceres. It was nearly like old times. Nearly naked in a strange place, yet warmed by a connection that stretched across time and space. Maybe Kon would let this pale, vulgar man take him across the cosmos—

"Rann Space Patrol!" Shouted the officer. Immediately, the two were surrounded by dozens of flashing lights. "Land on the closest asteroid and get off the vehicle."

"Officers, there seems to be some sorta misunderstanding—Ugh!" Lobo grunted as he was shoved into the hood of the space cruiser, muttering Czanian curses. The Rann officer patted him down after restraining him. He pulled something out of Lobo's tight leather pants.

"We got him! I'm arresting you for violating the Family Welfare Act via conspiracy to defraud the Single-Parent Fund."

"What?" Kon shouted. Standing in his little sidecar, still only dressed in his speedo. Rather than answer him, all the onlookers simply stared. The officer turned to look at Lobo.

"Additionally, you will be charged with soliciting a prostitute."

"What?" Kon questioned again, even more indignant.

"Fair," Lobo replied.

"Sick to try to pass off a hooker as your own son," another officer, probably the rookie, piped up. "Should we arrest the prostitute? Maybe give him something to cover up the panties."

Superboy's eyes glowed red.

"They're Speedos!" He shouted, beams of red light firing into the surrounding cruisers. The asteroid rumbled underneath, and the rookie and officer were pulled underneath up to their necks. Lobo grinned, staring at the adonis of his salvation. "Get on. Let's go."

"Where to?" Lobo swung his leg over and broke his restraints.

"Home."

"Ya sure?"

"Damn sure."

"Well, can't say it's been a total waste, I got you right over here for the drive, and you for the way back."

"It was sorta fun, plus I think all the space radiation did me good— Hey, what the hell!" Strength returning, Kon used it to keep Lobo's puckering face at arm's length.

"What? Isn't this how all missions end?" Lobo asked.

"No!"

"How'd you know? You said that ya never were a sidekick!"

"I know! Why the hell would you ever think that?"

"Because of all the skimpy shit that they all run around in!"

"Most of them are kids. Why would you think heroes would carry around kids for that?"

"Because I thought they were pedos!"

That was enough of that conversation for Kon. "Just take me home."

" _Fine_..." Lobo muttered, disappointed.


End file.
